Worst Sentence?

I have been down at the beach for most of this past week. (All work-related, in case you think I'm constantly on holidays!) I was reading a two-day-old Bangkok Post this morning and I came across an unusual literary award.

The annual Bulwer-Lytton literary prize challenges entrants to submit their worst opening sentence of an imaginary novel. Retired mechanical designer Jim Guigli of California was proclaimed the winner. His entry read-

Detective Bart Lasiter was in his office studying the light from his one small window falling on his super burrito when the door swung open to reveal a woman whose body said you've had your last burrito for a while, whose face said angels did exist, and whose eyes said she could make you dig your own grave and lick the shovel clean.