hey friends

Yesterday the question was asked again. I've had it maybe three times in the past couple of months. The question is usually asked shyly, with a slight pause before the words spill out apologetically, "Ummm....Pip...do you have friends?"

Maybe for those who are new to Cambodia's wild west there doesn't seem to be much to attract and sustain a white chick. It's not a thriving hub of arts & cultural expression. We're not blessed with an abundance of natural wonders. It's easy to see what isn't here. At the same time, most people notice that there are people who look to me for guidance, direction, advice.... or a salary. People wonder if I can have friendship when I'm mostly acting as employer, leader, mentor, counselor, sponsor? Let me answer this question as honestly as I can, "Yes. I have friends."

I have a few friends who live here. There's the tall, crazy story-telling Canadian who is always up for a coffee or a Pad Thai (so long as nothing is planned more than a few hours in advance!) He's the guy I call when I've had a crap day. He's the one to talk to when I need a second opinion. He will recruit a short-term team to sing Happy Birthday from the back of his truck right on the main street outside my house so that everyone can hear it... There is also the wonderful American missionary who is everything I'm not: methodical, disciplined, realistic & polite. The only two things we have in common are that we love Jesus and love Poipet yet this is more than enough to make us friends!

I don't have many friends who live in my postcode (hmmm... don't have a postcode). However, I have friends in many cities around the world. So, here's a tribute to some of the kinds of friends I appreciate:

1. Friends to do stuff with. I'm thankful for friends who will meet me in Pursat, Siem Reap, Bangkok, Canberra, Melbourne, the Gold Coast, the US or Hong Kong to go for a run. Most of these crazy people will also pay to pin a number to their shirt and run somewhere between 10 and 42k. Some will drive for hours to take photos and cheer at the finish line. I appreciate those who will fly to Bangkok to surprise me at the airport, drive for 8 hours to go snowboarding for a day, give me spare opera tickets, buy another theatre ticket so that I'm included, take me to a gig, invite me on a road trip or travel to Cambodia because they're on the same continent so why not?

2. Friends to do nothing with. It's a gift to visit friends who are happy to do nothing. There are those who just happen to have baked three cakes in the 24 hours prior to my visit and insist on me trying a piece of every one of them. Awesome. There's the family who invites me for a long lunch even though they know that all they have in the house is leftover lentil soup, ingredients for grilled cheese sandwiches and one tin of baked beans. Whether we share cake or baked beans I don't mind... all food tastes good with friends who are happy to simply share it.

3. Friends to connect with other friends. You know these friends? Catching up with these friends is like connecting with the whole tribe. These connectors can rustle up a dozen people for lunch wherever you meet. There are always interesting conversations and I love these friends!

4. Friends who remember. I also love spending time with friends when conversations start with, "Hey, do you remember the time when....?" These mates help me relive primary school, the horrors of grade 9, the weddings, birthday parties and shared celebrations, the adventures of leading short-term teams overseas or the things that stood out to them in the moments we shared as part of routine work, bible study, church, life.

5. Friends who know me. Yes, I do have "know friends". I'm so thankful to have a few people who know my best and worst. I can do dumb things and they're not surprised because they've heard it before. They're honest with me, wanting the best for me. They are also encouraging and supportive when things are going well. My know friends don't live close but they are close.

6. Friends I haven't met yet. So maybe now you're thinking I'm being a little over-optimistic here. Someone asks if I have friends and I reply that I have many friends... just haven't met them yet? What's with that? Well, the truth is that I love meeting new people. When I walk into a room I don't see a group of strangers, I see potential friends. Many of these relationships are flimsy and fleeting but I don't mind. Having just a few friends in my non-existent postcode opens me up to meeting so many random people as I travel through life. It does mean that there are many goodbyes but that's a part of the package.

So friends? Yes. (Phew! No need for this to be an awkward question..)