Before counselling

Last Monday I presented a 2.5 hour training session to Cambodian staff I’ve been working with at a vocational training program for youth. Initially it was going to be about counselling. One of the program goals is to provide regular counselling for the youth. However, there are a couple of challenges. Firstly, none of the staff have had any formal training in counselling at all. Also, the concept of sitting down for an hour or so in a quiet place with someone at an appointed time to speak with them confidentially is quite foreign in this culture. (Not to mention the idea of paying for such a conversation!)

On the other hand, Khmer has a great phrase to sum up an informal type of counselling. In English it is usually translated as simply visit. A more exact translation would be to ask questions about happiness and sadness back and forth. These are the kinds of visits when we go to the hospital to see a sick relative or pop around to find out how a friend is doing with their new baby. These visits include taking time to ask our work colleagues about the university studies they are completing in the evening or chatting to the old man who sets up his hammock next door every after day at 2pm for an afternoon snooze.

It starts by paying attention. On Monday half of the training session focused on helping the staff to explore their roles in the program (thinking of adding another role to teacher). The other half was basically about how we can pay attention to the youth. The homework assignment for the staff this coming week is to spend a few minutes a day observing the youth. The have specific questions to ask themselves and points to write down in their homework report. They start by spending time in their work day just noticing the youth as individuals rather than a class of students or a bunch of rowdy teenagers.

It is ridiculously simple! But perhaps we too can practice noticing the poor man sitting at the gate. When we look into the eyes behind the dishevelled hair and the rat-bitten rags that pass as clothing, we can ask the question, Sir, may I know your name? And we will hear him say, They used to call me Lazarus.