Honesty

I was talking to a Khmer friend yesterday and I have no idea how it came up but in the middle of the conversation my friend blurted out, "I think you would look beautiful if you used some make-up, styled your hair and wore nice clothing." In Australia I'd take this as a back-handed compliment and reply with something like, "And you would possibly be a good friend if you had any idea when to shut your freakn mouth." But in Asia, it seems, there are fewer questions or comments that are out of bounds. There is a strange combination of curiosity, honesty and a willingness to give casual acquaintances advise. There is a different line between what I once thought of as public and private information.

Early this month I was shopping at the Russian Markets. These are the markets frequented by tourists and I go there to get clothing because it is not all between size 4 and 8... I walked into a stall where I had happened to buy the pants I was wearing at the time. The saleswoman noticed before I did and commented. I confirmed that yes, I had indeed bought these pants at her store and added that they were very comfortable. She asked what size they were. I wasn't sure and so told her I couldn't remember. The saleswoman casually reached over, rolled back the top of my pants, called out the number on the tag, returned the pants to their right position and gave me a friendly tap on the butt. It seemed so normal that it wasn't until I was walking out of the store a few minutes later that I thought, "Far out! That lady just looked down my pants! She practically shouted my size in this public place! She just slapped my butt!"

Another topic that often draws out honest conversation is why a 28 year old woman would be single. People I've met for a whole five minutes freely ask all kinds of "personal"questions. Someone asked a few weeks back if I was "seeking/ looking for a husband." She used the same work you'd use for seeking work or looking for an apartment. I can't remember how I replied but the form of the question must have interested me and lodged somewhere in my brain. I was talking to a stranger a week or so ago when I found myself using the exact same phrase. "Are you looking for a hubbie?"

Am I out of my mind? Am I just trying to see if I can pull off what in my home country would be a terribly rude question to ask someone on the street? Am I becoming too familiar with the curiosity and blurred line that separates what I used to think of a distinctly public and private?

Honesty is a good thing...but where are its limits?