Talking About Taboos

A November edition of The Economist reported on an event that US Christians are using to help youth abstain from sex until marriage.

'Some 40 couples showed up at a country club in the tiny Ohio town of Van Wert on November 11- not boyfriend and girlfriend but fathers and their school-aged daughters...dressed up in glittery gowns and heels. ...Fathers and daughters sign pledges to help keep the girls chaste before marriage...Then the father gives the daughter a ring, to be worn on her fourth finger until it is replaced by a wedding band. Hugs ensue, then a prayer, and then fathers and daughters take to the floor to the strains of 'Have I Told You Lately That I Love You.''

The first 'purity ball' started seven years ago in Colorado Springs. That event is now held in a five-star hotel with over 200 people in attendance. The article questioned why there weren't any events for boys, ending with the observation that 'otherwise the chaste will be constantly chased.'

Sex is still a fairly taboo topic in Cambodia. My vocab related to this topic is very limited. They didn't squeeze in a chapter about sex in my uni text book between Sokh Goes To The Market and Transport In Phnom Penh. So I've been wondering for some time about how to talk about it with the youth at the dorm. In recent weeks a surprising solution has come about. The answer is in a passionate first-year nursing student.

One of the girls in studying Public Health as one of her compulsory first-year subjects. Right now it is all about sex. I'm not sure how developed the sex-ed program is in high school state schools but this first-year student uni seems to be learning a lot! She's interested in her lessons and really wants to share her knowledge. She speaks passionately about STD's, AIDS, childbirth, contraception and unwanted pregnancies. She shows diagrams about correct and incorrect condom usage. She retells stories that the lecturer has told the class, including at what points he was serious, when he blushed (I thought it was only white people who blushed?!) and when he couldn't help but giggle.

It's all nice work for a first-year student...and cheaper than a purity ball.

Thanksgiving

Last night I set my alarm for 5:40am. This morning I stood at my bedroom window watching the streaks of pink across the dawn sky. I said the word "colour" out aloud and let it resonate in my thinking. Then at 5:50am I jumped into bed again for another half-hour. It was a great start to thanksgiving!

The Christian writer Matthew Henry was once stopped by thieves and robbed of his purse. (Yes, the article said "purse" so I'm writing "purse"... even though these days guys aren't usually spotted carrying a "purse"...) Afterwards, he wrote these words in his diary:

"Let me be thankful first, because I was never robbed before; second, because although they took my purse, they did not take my life; third, because although they took my all, it was not much; and fourth, because it was I who was robbed, not I who robbed."

a taste

My most-used bible concordance (Bible Gateway) now has The Message translation. Very cool! Here's a taste:

If people can't see what God is doing,
they stumble all over themselves;
But when they attend to what he reveals,
they are most blessed. Prov 29:18

Something To Give

Share your dinner with the hungry

open your house to the refugee-

give your clothes to those who lack

and don't ignore your family members in need.

Isaiah 58:7 (My translation!)

Last week we visited two youth groups with Big Brothers and Sisters. We did some training and made time to listen to the experiences of the youth who have recently become '"big brothers and sisters" to orphans and other vulnerable kids in their communities.

An 18-year-old told us that she has begun to visit her "little sister" every week. She spoke with tenderness when describing the living situation of her 11-year-old little sister. She is orphaned and lives with a disabled grandparent. They lack proper nutrition. She had only one set of clothes. The clothes had to be washed in the evening and then put on again the very next day. In response to this need, the big sister we spoke with told us that she found some clothing she had kept from when she was younger and was able to take them to her little sister's house.

The youth we work with at Big Brothers and Sisters aren't rich by global standards. Many of them aren't even rich compared with other Cambodians. Yet they are excited to share what they have. They are happy when they see a need and discover that they have something to contribute. They find joy when they realise they have something to give.

Coming back to Isaiah 58, my prayer is that these youth who give may receive the promises of Isaiah 58 too. Let their light rise. Let them find strength, guidance from God and answers to their prayers. And may all their needs be satisfied.

Counting Conversations 2

On Saturday I came back from the week of Water Festival holidays. One of the neighbours came in, sat down on the sofa and started asking me some questions she'd been pondering over the week-

Do Christians believe in 1 God or 3?
Did God create the earth?
How old is the earth?
Who created God?
Why did the first people reject God?
Is it true that Buddha came before Jesus?
If Buddha came before Jesus, isn't it more likely that Buddha is true?
Is it true that Christians drink blood? (No.)
Are Christians allowed to eat food that has been offered to other gods?
To what extent can Christians participate in Buddhist festivals (e.g. funerals)?

It was a lively discussion...theology in my primary-school-level Khmer. But I'm so glad my friend is asking these questions!

Security Checks

I got stopped going through the metal detectors at Bangkok airport the other day. It was my own laziness that did it. A smiling Thai woman with a hand-held detector directed me to stand on a small box for a more thorough search. She started with my arms and torso. All clear. Next she checked my hips and thighs. Not a beep. But even as she patted my legs I knew what the problem was.

A couple of months ago I was at a meeting when I realised the hem on the right leg of the grey, pin-striped pants I was wearing had come unstitched. I quickly borrowed a stapler and punched half a dozen staples through the bottom of my pants. At the time it seemed like the perfect solution.

The stranger finished her check and waved me on. The faint smile on her lips looked as though it had turned into a knowing grin. She laughed and said something to one of her colleagues, but until I know the Thai words for "weirdo foreigner with stapled pants" I guess I'll never know....

Counting Conversations

I have a friend who counts conversations. She comes home from work and counts the number of people with whom she has communicated with that day- by email, phone, text and face to face. I don't think she does it every day...but maybe several times a week. It was a new idea to me at the time but it is growing on me.

Last night I was reading A New Kind of Christian by Brian D McLaren. The story revolves around the interaction between Pastor Dan and an ex-Pastor-turned-High-School-Science-teacher, Neo. On the topic of sharing faith with people who have other views, Neo states:

"I would say to stop counting conversions, because our whole approach to conversion is so, I don't know, mechanistic and consumeristic and individualistic and controlling. Instead, I'd encourage us to count conversations, because conversation implies a real relationship, and if we make our goal to establish relationships and engage in authentic conversation, I know that conversions will happen. But if we keep trying to convert people, we'll simply drive them away. They're sick of our sales pitches and our formulas.

Stop counting conversions and start counting conversations."

I realised when a mate visited from Thailand that I do have many opportunities for daily conversations. Perhaps the next step is to count them and pray that these conversations would count.