I let her sing over me

Last night I spent just a little bit of time with the loneliest one. The beautiful, insecure, sad one who spends more time than the others in the place that most Khmer fear the most- Anywhere Alone. We went to the supermarket together. We bought dinner at the market and ate cross-legged on the tiled floor. I asked if she would pray for the food. She prayed nervously because she usually expects one of the other girls to pray out aloud. We talked.

Later in the evening, while I was resting on one of my other room-mate's bed, she came over and asked if we could share the pillow. She put an arm across my shoulder and started singing. It sounded like lullabies for big people. Sweet, sad songs of love and loss. She sang with the rising, falling, sliding sounds of the traditional folk songs that I still haven't really got yet. I only meant to rest for a moment but I let myself linger. And I let her sing over me.

Getting over being unplugged

Last Sunday I led the service at the International Church I attend. I enjoyed it but admit that there were a few technical things that were really annoying. I wasn't impressed that the leads to plug-in my guitar sounded so dirty that I had to just put a regular microphone in the strumming zone and hope for the best. I was disappointed that in such a large building nobody has thought it necessary to buy foldback speakers so that the musicians can actually hear what they sound like as they are trying to lead a couple of hundred people into worship. I was annoyed that they just pay some guys to set up the chairs and plug in the microphones...then these guys disappear and we have to chase them down if the sound isn't properly balanced. After I got home I wondered whether the only thing that is really important to those who lead this weekly gig is the 45 minute lecture at the end....

Anyway... last next night I spent half an hour or so talking with one of the girls at the dorm about life, gossip and many unrelated things. And as we talked about her home village she said,

"If there was a church in my village I'm sure more people would believe. Some people came and preached the gospel there once but they went away again. Those who heard didn't understand clearly and didn't grow in their faith."

God over dodgy leads and inadequate sound systems- help me to keep perspective, love your people and work with you to see many beautiful, imperfect churches.

MOJs

We can understand as much about someone's hardships by their stories of happiness as by their accounts of grief. This truth first struck me years ago when I was watching a play about Prisoners of War in WW2 (The Shoehorn Sonata). There was a part in the play when the two women recalled the joy they found in a single, shared caramel bud. Every afternoon they'd sneak away from the other prisoners with their silver-wrapped treasure. With a close eye on the time, one of the women would put the lolly in their mouth for the allocated time period (perhaps 30 seconds?). Next, the other would have her turn at the candy, taking care not to bite or chew it so it would last. In this way, the one caramel stretched over many weeks.

In the dorm there is one out of the seven female students who likes to speak English. She's still learning so we're forced to speak slowly and simply. She tells me stories about her life- good stuff as well as the hardships.

Last night I noticed that she was home earlier than usual so I asked in Khmer, "Did you study tonight?" She answered, "No." Half an hour later she said in English, "I did not go to study tonight." I replied, "Yes, I know." She said, "But you didn't ask me why." I obliged, "Why didn't you go to study tonight?"

She responded, "Because I was invited to go and eat dinner with my boss and some other staff members." She continued, "There were many kinds of food and I could eat a lot...as much as I wanted to eat. And later in the week we have a guest coming from Australia so we will all go out to eat together in one week..... Two times in one week!" She exclaimed. "I am very lucky! I am very lucky!"

A couple of weeks ago we were talking about friends. She reflected, "When I was in Grade 12, I had one close friend. But the next year she got married and moved away. For many years I did not have a close friend. Now I am very happy because I have two close friends. I can talk with them. I can trust them. They are always kind."

Two friends, two meals out in one week, one caramel drop. Many MOJs.

Happy Birthday Blog

It is one year since I started blogging! I'm having fun... and hope to keep somesaypip going through 2006 as well as linking this blog to others so that readers (i.e. you!) can check out other sites that I enjoy.

Comments are always welcome and appreciated- even if you just say "hi- read your blog today!"

I was chatting with one of my study buddies yesterday about the Grade School readers. We noticed that no form of education is moral-free or value-neutral.... The ways that our Khmer school texts try to influence children to value a safe, clean, happy society make interesting reading. Here's one example from a conversation between two third-grade girls:

Pisay: Wow! Your house is so beautifully clean!
Tida: This is from my work of cleaning every day.
Pisay: I also clean my house every day but it isn't at all as beautiful as your house. How do you do it?
Tida: Firstly, I wipe the dust from the surfaces of the table, cupboards, chairs etc. Next I sweep the floor. After that I wipe everything with a wet cloth.
Pisay:Thank you, Tida! I will clean my house in this way.
Tida: I do hope that you may be able to clean your house like this. A clean home brings happiness and joy.

When I should be paying attention...

For a couple of years now I've been using the weekly lectionary readings. One thing I have come to appreciate about this exercise is that it forces me to hold several passage of Scripture at the same time and meditate on them together.

Sometimes I think- I can't see any way these texts relate. What wacko in history put these random Scriptures together? Most times, however, the texts seem to speak to each other. One informs the other. One illustrates the other. One drives the point while the other softens the blow. Sometimes (and this is where things get interesting) one seems to contradict the other.

I don't do much teaching these days. Even so, I was thinking yesterday the way that teaching often involves the willingness to step into and explore the creative tension brought about by more than one point of truth. (This while driving my moto through the usual crazy traffic.) While I see the need for "balance" I'm not too excited by the word itself. While I often need to practice "compromise" it isn't a concept that gets me passionate. I guess it is because these things suggest a step towards some middle ground when I wonder if I shouldn't be finding another place altogether... I mean, what if that place of revelation truth can only be found outside of the first two? What if I need to let the stretch of creative tension stretch me? What if pursuing two seemingly conflicting points of truth helps me to find new, spacious places? What if the "and" really is possible over the "or"?

I'm not really sure where I'm heading with this blog today... But I want to keep finding space to breathe because I can't ever imagine trying to come up with some definitive, end-the-conversation comment about me and my God. Let me dance outside the box.

Pink Post-Its

Post-It notes now come in pink and blue as well as the standard yellow square pad. I've started using them to copy a verse or two from the Khmer Scriptures and giving them to my room-mates. God, please bless these little pink Post-Its. May they bring messages of hope and life. Amen!