Miss Independent?

Over the past couple of weeks my younger bro has given me the nickname Independent. This has caused me much grief because I couldn't figure out why he started calling my by this name.

Cambodia is much more of a collective culture than I'm used to (to give one small example- in Khmer the word for different is the same as the word wrong). With this in mind I have been making a real effort to do things together with my adopted family. There have been several Saturday and Sunday nights recently when I have turned down invitations to go out with my friends because I don't want my family to think that I'm trying to avoid them. So I was pretty cut that my adopted bro should start calling me Independent.

I have asked him about it a couple of times but he's only smiled and avoided replying. Finally, on Wednesday night, I asked him once more. "Why this new name? Why independent?" I asked him three times with the "I'm not messing with you here... I really want an answer" tone of voice. Finally he said, "I don't know what it means! I heard it on TV!"

I gave a rough translation of what it means in Khmer and told him that I don't like this nickname. He stopped for a couple of days but he started again this afternoon (probably because he knows it bugs me!) - I guess at least now he knows what it means.

Don't Try So Hard...

I think I've stopped trying so hard pretending to play Khmer (is this a good thing Gail?) : ) Maybe it is too early to tell.... But last week I bought a loaf of bread for the first time since arriving in Cambodia (wholemeal, sliced, very good...) and the week before I bought a tub of yoghurt. Several days a week I still get up before 5am to do exercise around the market. Some days, though, I sleep in until 6:30. Some mornings I eat rice for breakfast. Sometimes I skip breakfast and go to the cafe around the corner for a coffee and a cinnamon roll. Sometimes I choose to stay at home with my adopted family- watch a bit of TV or just sit around. Sometimes I'll go out and talk my head off in my native tongue. Sometimes I bring my hands together in a polite greeting and smile gently. Sometimes I laugh too loudly and hardly seem to care. "Yes!" I say laughing, "Yes! I am the Strange White Fat Rich Foreigner!"

Matthew 10: 24-39. Disturbing Love

It has been a while since I blogged sermon notes. I often start to write something but I don't always finish. This weekend, however, a deluge of Saturday afternoon rain forced me to stay inside for a couple of hours- enough time to bring together some reflections from these last few days on the lectionary reading from Matthew 10:24-39.


(Verse 39: If you cling to your life, you will lose it; but if you give it up for me, you will find it.)

I babysat four-year-old Joel last night. We had to play quietly because his younger sister, Emma, was already asleep. We were scribbling drawings when Joel grabbed a cardboard tube for a new game. At first I was a little unsure of what kind of game we were going to play but then Joel put the tube against my ear, ready for him to whisper a message. He thought for a moment then said softly, "I love you very much". It was my turn to respond, "I love you too." Joel grinned as if he was surprised that his easy, innocent declaration of love had been reciprocated. I signaled that I had another message, so again his little ear went up against the cardboard tube. I said, "Joel, Jesus loves you very much." Joel's reply? '"Yes. I know that."

It was so cool to hear that, in his four-year-old way, Joel is already grounded in the love of Jesus. But this isn't just talk for kids. It is important for disciples of Jesus, no matter what their age, to experience the extravagant, unconditional love of God. We need to remember that God cares for us, knows the number of hairs on our head and sees us as His precious own (vs30-31). God loves, loves, loves us- personally, individually, passionately.

It is when we are saturated in this truth, we can hear the more disturbing words of Jesus from this passage.
The student shares the teacher's fate. The servant shares the master's fate. (Verse 25a)
Don't be afraid of those who want to kill you. They can only kill your body; they cannot touch your soul. Fear only God, who can destroy both body and soul in hell. (Verse 28)
Don't imagine that I came to bring peace to the earth! No I came to bring a sword. (Verse 34)
If you cling to your life, you will lose it; but if you give it up for me, you will find it. (Verse 39)

These words were spoken by Jesus to his disciples in the context of preparing them to be sent out. He gives them authority to cast out spirits and to heal every kind of sickness and illness. But Jesus wants them to know that the journey won't be cozy. Jesus' teaching about family, community and the Kingdom of God didnt't fit nicely within the status quo. Therefore, rulers, religious leaders and even family members could threaten very serious opposition. Jesus wants the disciples to know that in the midst of powerful ministry there are difficulties but that in the midst of difficulties there is love.

For those first disciples, and for us, being grounded in Christ's love does not lead to mellow complacency but compels love towards others. It empowers us to confront injustice, engage with the broken, touch the wounded and not worry when we face opposition. These are necessary engagements.

Even though I believe these things, I often find myself wanting to avoid uncomfortable, painful or embarrassing situations. I don't always want to enter into someone else's suffering. There is a vague aspiration popularly called Lifestyle that can be a great temptation for us to idols. But if Lifestyle is our primary pursuit, life becomes an attempt to shield us from anything painful or difficult. Life becomes an escape; a diversion; a distraction. To put it bluntly, Matthew 10 tells us that disciples of Jesus aren't called to a Lifestyle free from difficultly but to Life. We are called to experience life- with all the pain that comes with it- rather than hide from it all. We are called, like the first disciples' Jesus sent out, to engage in the pain and struggles of other people too. We are called to give up our lives in order to gain life.

When we are grounded in love we can dare to pray, "Disturb us, Lord."

Disturb us, Lord,
when we are too well pleased with ourselves;
when our dreams have come true because we have dreamed too little;
when we arrive safetly because we sailed too close to the shore.

Disturb us, Lord, when with the abundance of things we possess
we have lost our thirst for the Waters of Life;
having fallen in love with life, we have ceased to dream of eternity;
and in our efforts to build a new earth,
we have allowed our vision of the new heaven to grow dim.

Disturb us, Lord, to dare more boldly-
to venture on wider seas where storms will show your mastery;
where losing sight of land, we shall find the stars.
We ask you to push back the horizons of our hopes,
and to push us in the future with strength, courage, hope and love.

(Author unknown)

I must admit, I have felt rather disturbed lately! Over these past months I've felt totally thrust out from what feels comfortable. Yet, I don't want to run away from these things. I want to engage in the experiences God has for me. I want to be compelled by the Spirit's strength, courage, hope and love to dare more boldly. Amen.

Footwashing

John 13:14-17 And since I, the Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you ought to wash each other's feet. I have given you an example to follow. Do as I have done to you. ...You know these things- now do them! This is the path of blessing.

We had a footwashing ceremony at church yesterday afternoon. The youth and young adults prepared the event to honour their parents'.

I was really impressed with their hard work leading up to the event. Many of them had arrived at the church at 7:30am for the regular youth meeting that preceeds the 8:30am service. (I have to say that there is no way I'd even attempt to run a youth meeting in Australia at 7:30 on Sunday morning, but it seems to work here...) When the morning service finished (about 10:30am) they bought food, prepared it, practiced for the event and ran through the program. They spent the whole day at church. I helped for a few hours in the kitchen but went home while they were doing the final preparations for the program.

I came back at 4pm with "mum & dad". After the first part of the service (singing together, special songs, a dance and a message) came the footwashing. The parents came up to the front of the church two families at a time. They sat facing the congregation. Their children knelt before them and washed their feet. One by one the youth and young adults took the microphone to express their thanks to God for their parents. Some confessed with tears that they had not been ideal children. Afterwards the parents responded, giving thanks to God.

The footwashing was clearly a moving ceremony for the particpants. After the service finished (at about 6:30pm) the youth served their parents a meal.

Footwashing is a humbling action. When Jesus washed his disciples' feet the bible says that he "showed them the full extent of his love". As I helped a little with the preparations, observed the ceremony, joined in the meal and helped clean up, I noticed how the way of humbly serving each other was powerfully enacted. The words of Jesus in John 13:17 came to life again: That is the path of blessing.

Team Teaching

Teaching others is great for teaching the teacher too. Right now I'm having a go at teaching our Level 1 class at university with our regular teacher (Mr Top Kim Long).

We have just finished the text book and have more than two weeks until the end of the semester. Our options were to begin the Level 2 text or revise Level 1. Most of the students were eager to do some revision- particularly focusing on speaking, listening and remembering the material. So I have been preparing some easy games this week.

We had our first try yesterday afternoon. I was quite confident that students would enjoy some more interactive learning, but I wasn't sure how our teacher would take it. Mr Top Kim Long is in his sixties. He speaks slowly and clearly for beginner students and is very kind. He also always teaches in the traditional 'learn by rote' style. So I was really touched when he said in yesterday's class, "Oh! This is very good! I can also learn to teach by playing games." At the end of the lesson Mr Top Kim Long said, "Thank you for your.... [long pause as he searched for the right word]...innovation." Aww...thank you, Sir!

MOJs from Saturday

My first MOJ (Moment of Joy) for the day was going to my local swimming pool. I usually arrive not long after opening time and am often the first one to break the water as I start my laps. By the time I've done my 1-1.5km I'm usually pretty pumped. Saturday was such a beautiful, clear, warm, sunny morning that I was basking in the MOJs before I even started swimming. At the pool I met a group of young women who are also Saturday regulars. It was great to go beyond the smiles of recognition to introductions and conversation. They complimented me on my swimming ability (very few people in Cambodia have had the opportunity to learn to swim so I'm like a serious athlete in their eyes!) and on my ability to speak a little Khmai (always good for the ego!). They shared some snacks with me and we chatted together for about 30 minutes- mostly in Khmai but with some English thrown in when I couldn't get what they were trying to say. On Saturdays I've started joining the music team at church for their practice session. It is a great way to get to know some people better by doing something we are all interested in. Even though some of the songs are still very unfamiliar I'm starting getting a feel for them. The music leader asked me again when I want to start playing on Sundays and I said that I'd be happy to start next month. I now have a number of songs that I can practice at home and hopefully will be ready for my debut in about 4 weeks time. MOJ number 2 achieved by just keeping on strumming. Later that day, I was riding down one of Phnom Penh's main roads when my bicycle chain fell off. Rather than being a hassle, this led to MOJ number 3. It took maybe 15 seconds of me fiddling fruitlessly with the chain before a young guy stopped his moto to help me. After the chain was secure again, I turned to face him in order to offer my sincere thanks. At that point I was very tempted to blurt out, "Is it just you- is it just me- or is it that people become ten times better looking when they surprise you with kindness?" ...Instead I said, "thank you very much- brother" and kept the rest to myself : )

Woo Hoo!

Joy is like that. For weeks it feels like I've been riding into a headwind. Now I'm coasting downhill in a summer sunshower. Joy is like those first few drops of rain that fall out of a blue sky when you're not even looking up.